Cell phones

It's hard to say that I remember a time before cell phones. My mom got her first cell phone when I was in high school (I think). It was this massive monstrosity with a wood grain cover. She thought it was the coolest thing ever...and I thought it was ugly. Wait...that was her second one. Her first was a grey Motorola...a la Zac Morris...but it flipped. Still ugly. Still massive. I remember my first cell phone. It was a Nokia...and you could buy different cases for it. LoL. I thought it was awesome.

I can't believe that people cant go ANYWHERE without their phones. They are never completely out of sight. Text messages...phone calls... Blah blah blah.

Here's where it becomes annoying. When I try to do MY job, and you are on your phone...it makes my job nearly impossible to complete...or do. Yes, I understand that you are busy. I understand that the cat just coughed up a HUGE fur ball. And yes, I understand that little Sally has a cold (and it touching everything with her grubby, germy hands...risking my health in the process)...and she needs a doctor's appointment.

If you want impeccable customer service...get off your phone. I can help you much better, and much more effectively if you aren't yapping to your over-bearing mother on the phone. Here is what you say, "Mom, I'm sorry. Let me call you back in 5 minutes. I'm in the middle of the grocery store and I cant find the chutney. Love you"---click. Really, it's easy.

I'm not saying that everyone on their phones are jerks. Some say, "I am SO sorry. Just one second." I respond well to that. At least the acknowledge me. At least they know I have a job that I'm trying to do. It's the ones that say, "What's my total" when I haven't said a word to them. They never snap out of it. They don't even realize that I've ever said a word to them.

I hate repeating myself in my regular life...and I hate it even more at work. It's the same thing...over and over and over. "Sign the screen...this pen...sorry"...it goes on. I say a lot of the same things over and over. Its mundane...but it's a job. One that I am very grateful to have.

Please. Think of the ones that work there. IF you must be on the phone, be polite about it. Smile, say you are sorry...and say thank you when you are done. Its simple. Really.

Happy shopping!!

Lessons in hygiene

Now, I'm sure all of you went to school. At some point, I'm sure you got the bathe lesson. Wash your hair. Wear deodorant. Brush your teeth. Its actually a really, really simple lesson.

However, at some point, the people that shop where I work have forgotten that. They have forgotten that soap is "the yard stick of civilization" (thank you for that Tyler Durden). Soap is my friend. I gets that nasty armpit funk to go away. It takes the gross smells out of my clothes. It makes everything feel fresh and new. A rather amazing feeling, if I do say so myself.

Now, I'm not saying that I haven't missed a daily shower once in a while, but I make sure I don'tsmell funky.

I have lots of regular customers. Ones that I really enjoy. They're funny, irreverent, and completely understanding. I have lots of weird, smelly, annoying and just plain gross customers. I'll cover weird and annoying in another entry...but today I'm going to cover smelly and gross.

Today, I had this man come into my line. He was weird. LoL. He was weird, smelly, and gross. His teeth were rotting out of his head...and it didn't help that the smell was putrid. Clearly, he hadn't been to the dentist in quite some time. I nearly gagged on the smell...and I wished I could stick a clothes pin through my nostrils to keep the smell from permeating my brain.

Last night, I had the same funky breath problem. This man, (different from the one mentioned above) has the same funky breath issue. And he's annoying. I've disliked him for years. He's cheap...and smelly...and nerdy...and you get the point. I don't know what it is about him. If it's his smell...the way he rattles off his number...or the fact that he wears socks with sandals.

Anyway, all this rambling has lead to this.

Brush your teeth. Shower. Make sure you don't smell funky...all before leaving your house.

I will be happy. The rest of the world will be happy. And maybe, just maybe, someone will read this blog and thank me for pointing out very obvious facts.

Happy shopping, children! :0)

The beginning

I've worked at a grocery store for over 5 years. Not the same one, but definitely the same business. Work is steady. Work is busy. Most of all...work drives me crazy.

For a couple years, I was a CSM (customer service manager) and I had to leave the store manager notes. She said she always loved my notes. She'd make other employees read it. She laughed. They laughed. It was all very good. One day, she told me, "You really should write these down. You are so good at writing. I'm sure someone would enjoy it."

Well, I know that I'm not the only person that hates being in the grocery biz. And I'm sure I'm not the only one that hates grocery shopping.

Hopefully, someone (other than myself) enjoys these blogs. This blog will be a way for me to vent...and a way for others (ahem...customers) to figure out a way to contain themselves and learn how to read, count, and act civilized to the people that ring, bag and stock your groceries.

Let the games begin!!