Order dividers

You know those little rubber (sometimes hard plastic) bars at the checkstands?

Use them.

I don't know what is so difficult about this seemingly easy task.  There is someone in front of you...do you really want them to pay for your groceries?  I think not.  There may not be someone behind you now, but what if someone walks up?  Do you want to buy their groceries?  Probably not.

This is one thing that is ENTIRELY in your hands.  You shouldn't get mad at me, your humble servant.  I am simply ringing up the groceries that I am assuming are yours.  Yes, there are rare occasions where I get completely sidetracked and ring up too many things.  For this, I am sorry.  However, the problem I present is completely avoidable.

I am tired of hearing, "Oh,  those aren't MY groceries...".  A statement that is dripping with, "You must be stupid.  You just work at a grocery store.  If you were smart, you'd work somewhere else".  If you, the smart ass customer that thinks I am stupid, only knew what I was thinking, you would probably request I be fired.

Very rarely am I one to say, "Well, you didn't put a divider up.  Neither did the customer behind you.  I am just going until that little grey doo-dad, the one right there, pops up.  That's my cue to stop".

Death and Customers

I know. Don't remind me. It's been a long time. However, things at the store stay the same. Always the same. I also hope that I will be able to write something weekly, instead of once a year.

I check the obituaries weekly. Morbid. I know. However, I have so many elderly customers (that I actually love) and I worry that I will see them there. Their lives summarized in 450 words.

In the last 6 months, I have had about 8 customers pass. It breaks my heart. Over the 7 and a half years I have worked at the store I'm at, I have met some amazing people. When these people go, it is sad. No more jokes with them. No more laughs. No more smiles.

I never thought I would connect with someone I met at work...let alone a customer. It's amazing the things they have brought to my day. Some days were the worst...and seeing them made it better. There are times where I wish I could tell them how much I've appreciated their conversations...their wisdom.

I know that this is a never ending cycle. I know that more customers will die. I know that their families will grieve more than I have for them. However, in the smallest way, they have added something to my life. They have given me something that others haven't. They have imparted wisdom without even knowing it.

There is probably a really good reason I don't have kids

I know that I have totally neglected this blog. However, I'm wanting this to take hold in my life. I actually enjoy writing...no matter what the topic.

Oh, grocery store job...how I've missed thee whilst I was out "sick". It is nice to be back...even though I wish I was still relaxing at home for weeks on end.

Tonight, this blog is directed at you...parents of screaming children. I understand they are your kids and you can "parent" them any way you decide. However, allowing them to scream at the top of their lungs with NO form of punishment doesn't help your kids...nor does it make me want to help you. It actually makes me want to avoid you like the plague. I want nothing to do with your lack of discipline. Quite frankly, it makes me want to scream at the top of my lungs while you LET your child scream. It also makes me want to smack you...and then smack your screaming kid.

I had a mother with her daughter in a line behind the checkstand I was working in. This 4 year old brat kept screaming. Not screaming...just making an obnoxious noise. A noise I really could have done without. It was busy...and all I wanted was for that kid to SHUT UP and for the lines to go away. Much to my surprise...this mother said to her daughter, "Well, you just want attention today, don't you?!" That was IT! It was like she was egging her on...and encouraging her to get on my last nerve. This lasted for about 15 minutes. And yes, the lines were that bad.

I remember when I was younger. If I had a hissy, my mom would scoop me up and take me outside...no matter where we were...or what we were doing. She'd keep me outside until I calmed down and was ready to be good and not scream. I don't remember being a bad kid...and my mom actually tells me I wasn't THAT rotten. LoL.

It's amazing to see how differently people raise their kids. I like to think that I was a decent kid. One that didn't scream in grocery stores. That didn't throw hissy fits. However, the mothers up here learn to ignore their children fast...or just don't care.

WAKE UP!! You hear that screaming brat? Yeah...that's your kid. He wants that candy bar. You know what. Don't give it to him. If you do...it'll be like rewarding bad behavior. He'll say, "Wow, if I scream...I'll get everything that I want." DON'T YOU DARE GIVE HIM THAT CANDY BAR. YOU WILL FOREVER REGRET IT.

Oh...poor eardrums of mine. I'm sorry you have to deal with the screaming. :-/

Being sick and grocery stores don't mix

I hate being sick. I'm sure everyone else hates being sick. However, when anyone is sick, there are two places people go to...without fail.

The doctor...and...the grocery store.

I hate shopping...unless it's for something fun. LoL. I hate being sick. I hate both of them equally...but I hate them even more when they are combined. I hate the sounds...the lights...the people. I will purposely avoid going out when I'm sick.

This is directed to the ones that go out shopping when they are sick. The ones that think, "I wont get ANYONE sick if I just go and grab..." whatever.

I have gotten colds from more customers than I care to admit. And then...my co-workers get sick...and then I get sick. Again. How hard is it to stay home and send someone that isn't sick to the store? You hate when parents send their kids to school sick because Sally or Joey always get sick. And then you get sick. And then...I get sick.

Tonight, I had a sick customer. This woman is ALWAYS sick. She always looks like she's 10 minutes from death. Tissue in one hand...jammies on...big ugly jacket. I looked at my boss and said, "She is ALWAYS sick." My boss laughed...partly because she knew it was true. This woman looks like death warmed up almost every time I see her. The thing that drove me crazy was the ratty tissue balled up in her right hand as she unloaded her groceries. Her germs were in that tissue...on that box of cereal...IN MY HAND NOW!!

Needless to say, as soon as she turned around, I busted out the hand sanitizer and put 6 liberal pumps into my hands. "Eeeewwww" is what I said to a co-worker...and then I said, "Use this" and loaded his hands up with hand sanitizer as well.

There's always one that has to do everything when they are sick. Everything. Movies...dinner at restaurants...grocery shopping.

Think about it. I don't want to get sick. I cant afford to get sick (much like you, if you are employed). If you get me sick...chances are I'll just come into work (sick) and sneeze all over your ground round...diapers...eggs. And then, this vicious cycle starts ALL over again.

Psh. Is anyone listening to me?

Cell phones

It's hard to say that I remember a time before cell phones. My mom got her first cell phone when I was in high school (I think). It was this massive monstrosity with a wood grain cover. She thought it was the coolest thing ever...and I thought it was ugly. Wait...that was her second one. Her first was a grey Motorola...a la Zac Morris...but it flipped. Still ugly. Still massive. I remember my first cell phone. It was a Nokia...and you could buy different cases for it. LoL. I thought it was awesome.

I can't believe that people cant go ANYWHERE without their phones. They are never completely out of sight. Text messages...phone calls... Blah blah blah.

Here's where it becomes annoying. When I try to do MY job, and you are on your phone...it makes my job nearly impossible to complete...or do. Yes, I understand that you are busy. I understand that the cat just coughed up a HUGE fur ball. And yes, I understand that little Sally has a cold (and it touching everything with her grubby, germy hands...risking my health in the process)...and she needs a doctor's appointment.

If you want impeccable customer service...get off your phone. I can help you much better, and much more effectively if you aren't yapping to your over-bearing mother on the phone. Here is what you say, "Mom, I'm sorry. Let me call you back in 5 minutes. I'm in the middle of the grocery store and I cant find the chutney. Love you"---click. Really, it's easy.

I'm not saying that everyone on their phones are jerks. Some say, "I am SO sorry. Just one second." I respond well to that. At least the acknowledge me. At least they know I have a job that I'm trying to do. It's the ones that say, "What's my total" when I haven't said a word to them. They never snap out of it. They don't even realize that I've ever said a word to them.

I hate repeating myself in my regular life...and I hate it even more at work. It's the same thing...over and over and over. "Sign the screen...this pen...sorry"...it goes on. I say a lot of the same things over and over. Its mundane...but it's a job. One that I am very grateful to have.

Please. Think of the ones that work there. IF you must be on the phone, be polite about it. Smile, say you are sorry...and say thank you when you are done. Its simple. Really.

Happy shopping!!

Lessons in hygiene

Now, I'm sure all of you went to school. At some point, I'm sure you got the bathe lesson. Wash your hair. Wear deodorant. Brush your teeth. Its actually a really, really simple lesson.

However, at some point, the people that shop where I work have forgotten that. They have forgotten that soap is "the yard stick of civilization" (thank you for that Tyler Durden). Soap is my friend. I gets that nasty armpit funk to go away. It takes the gross smells out of my clothes. It makes everything feel fresh and new. A rather amazing feeling, if I do say so myself.

Now, I'm not saying that I haven't missed a daily shower once in a while, but I make sure I don'tsmell funky.

I have lots of regular customers. Ones that I really enjoy. They're funny, irreverent, and completely understanding. I have lots of weird, smelly, annoying and just plain gross customers. I'll cover weird and annoying in another entry...but today I'm going to cover smelly and gross.

Today, I had this man come into my line. He was weird. LoL. He was weird, smelly, and gross. His teeth were rotting out of his head...and it didn't help that the smell was putrid. Clearly, he hadn't been to the dentist in quite some time. I nearly gagged on the smell...and I wished I could stick a clothes pin through my nostrils to keep the smell from permeating my brain.

Last night, I had the same funky breath problem. This man, (different from the one mentioned above) has the same funky breath issue. And he's annoying. I've disliked him for years. He's cheap...and smelly...and nerdy...and you get the point. I don't know what it is about him. If it's his smell...the way he rattles off his number...or the fact that he wears socks with sandals.

Anyway, all this rambling has lead to this.

Brush your teeth. Shower. Make sure you don't smell funky...all before leaving your house.

I will be happy. The rest of the world will be happy. And maybe, just maybe, someone will read this blog and thank me for pointing out very obvious facts.

Happy shopping, children! :0)

The beginning

I've worked at a grocery store for over 5 years. Not the same one, but definitely the same business. Work is steady. Work is busy. Most of all...work drives me crazy.

For a couple years, I was a CSM (customer service manager) and I had to leave the store manager notes. She said she always loved my notes. She'd make other employees read it. She laughed. They laughed. It was all very good. One day, she told me, "You really should write these down. You are so good at writing. I'm sure someone would enjoy it."

Well, I know that I'm not the only person that hates being in the grocery biz. And I'm sure I'm not the only one that hates grocery shopping.

Hopefully, someone (other than myself) enjoys these blogs. This blog will be a way for me to vent...and a way for others (ahem...customers) to figure out a way to contain themselves and learn how to read, count, and act civilized to the people that ring, bag and stock your groceries.

Let the games begin!!